Wednesday, September 29, 2010

They Hate Us For Anne Hathaway

While watching NFL football this weekend, the commentators dutifully thanked the men and women of the armed forces who are defending our freedom.  This is what everyone says now—that the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are to defend our freedom.  Regardless of whether one supports or opposes the wars and how they’ve been conducted, I think there are basic arguments with which we can dismiss this notion. 

First, our enemies, al-Qaeda specifically, have never claimed to hate us because of our freedom.  Read speeches by Osama bin Laden and try to find where he says this.  In fact, Osama bin Laden himself responded to the freedom accusation in October 2004, saying—quite logically—that if freedom was his enemy, why didn’t he attack Sweden?   Obviously the murder of three thousand Americans was an assault on those individuals’ freedoms, as well as every other American's freedom to live without fear of terrorism, but the argument that the September 11 attacks were motivated by a hatred of freedom is not found in al-Qaeda’s own rhetoric.

Second, we are currently fighting two wars “for our freedom,” and neither one appears to be going very well.  And yet, we aren’t becoming less free.  If we were to lose a war to defend our freedom, wouldn’t it make sense that we’d have less freedom?  “Losing” the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq (more than we already have lost in them) would arguably diminish our power and possibly our security, but it’s not like they’d take away the 1st Amendment.

The point could be argued that our own government is the largest threat to our individual freedom.  That would seem to be something that anti-Patriot Act Progressives and Tea Partiers could actually agree on.

Isn’t it strange that our political leaders and mainstream media never told us the reasons bin Laden says he attacked the United States?  All of us would agree that despite whatever reasons bin Laden claimed, the September 11 attacks couldn’t be justified, but we should still at least know the actual reasons, for strategic and political purposes if nothing else.

There are obvious reasons that the hating freedom narrative took shape.  Optimistically, we could say that our country needed unity after September 11, and the hating freedom narrative was something we could all get behind.  More cynically, the hating freedom narrative allowed the government to mobilize popular support for their anti-terrorism agenda.  If the issue were our support of Israel, our military presence around the world, or our diplomatic support for dictatorships in Muslim countries (these are al-Qaeda’s actual complaints), then maybe Americans would have some debate about our response to the terrorist attacks.  But if freedom is threatened we go get our rifles, or—more precisely—we recruit poor and disenfranchised youth to go get their rifles.

What I have outlined is standard propaganda that is depressingly transparent and effective.  But hey, we have our freedom, right?

In the spirit of identifying erroneous reasons why we are fighting wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and to illustrate my point, I will offer an equally plausible lie our government could have told us.  For example, I personally would have been more likely to be mobilized against terrorism if I had been told that they hated Anne Hathaway.  I mean, Anne Hathaway is so beautiful and she’s also—as she proved in Rachel Getting Married—a  very talented actress.  Here is a look at how the “War on Terror” could have been framed:
“For all who love Anne Hathaway and peace, the world without Saddam Hussein's regime is a better and safer place.” –George W. Bush
“I believe that God has planted in every heart the desire to live in Anne Hathaway”—George W. Bush
“We can’t allow the world’s worst leaders to threaten, blackmail, hold Anne Hathaway-loving nations hostage”—George W. Bush
“You can’t put democracy and Anne Hathaway back into a box”—George W. Bush
“This is not a battle between the United States of America and terrorism, but between Anne Hathaway and terrorism.”—Tony Blair
“Today we are engaged in a deadly global struggle for those who would intimidate, torture, and murder Anne Hathaway. If we are to win this struggle and spread Anne Hathaway, we must keep our own moral compass pointed in a true direction.”—Barack Obama
Fear not, Anne Hathaway.  We have a great plan to make sure they don’t win.  Just ask our president.

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